There are few things in life that I truly dislike. Black licorice and clothes hangers sit at the top of that last. Waiting in traffic and screaming babies fall somewhere near the middle. And wearing a bikini in public rounds out the bottom. Which is why this past Monday I was able to set aside my dislike for the bikini and don one for the sake of making one memorable, and very public, pregnancy announcement.
While my dad and I were in NYC for a long weekend we went to a taping of Live with Kelly and Michael. For every show they select an audience member to be that day’s Trivia Dancer, code for the person who is most willing to dance around on live television as if they were dancing naked around their bedroom. I’m talking about no-shame, shake-your-tail-feathers kind of dancing.
Since I lack any real dancing skills, I decided my only shot at getting picked would be to dance like a crazy person. And dance like a crazy person I did. We’re talking monkey-like arm swings meshed with Broadway style leg kicks and a side of toe taps that I pulled from a 1980s Richard Simons exercise DVD. The audience loved it, and they picked me to appear on the show.
After being selected, the producer says, “Now you’re okay with wearing a bikini, right?” Okay with it? Not really. But willing? I suppose. I’m all about taking advantage of once in a lifetime type experiences so I decided to go for it, asking her to give me a more “conservative” suit since I was four months pregnant. (Code for really only 3 1/2 months but I’d rather round up because I often feel 9 months pregnant).
Unbeknownst to me, she wrote that information on the cue card that Kelly Ripa reads when introducing me, and voila, you get one of the most surprising and public pregnancy announcements ever. Oh and a free bathing suit; they also let me keep that. Although I doubt it will be fitting in the near future.
Check out the video above to see how it all went down and to marvel at my amazing dance moves. Or laugh, that’s what I do when I’m not hiding my face in embarrassment over my incorrect grammar. I blame the too-tight bikini shorts for that one. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re concerned about mooning the audience, and your dad.
Lastly, if there is any take away from the video, it’s that, even though baby #2 is due in January, Oliver is still front and center in my mind. When Kelly asked “How’s the baby?” I instantly thought of Oliver and my chance of just succinctly responding, “doing well” went out the window.